Friday, January 21, 2005

‘Oh, God!’



The more news I read the more I become convinced of why it is President Bush gets away with the things that he does.

For four years now George W. Bush has been able to frustrate the Democrats who oppose him and those of us in the third parties who recognize the problems, both Constitutional and fiscal, inherent in all of the Bush Administration’s activities.

I knew that there HAD to be some reason that Bush would say one thing then do another, while his legions of adoring fans cheered the entire way.

Now I think I know why all of this happens: Because God is on his side.

This has always been one of the possibilities. The Republicans — especially the “Christian” Republicans — have been telling us this for years. Bush himself has even said he prays to God before making decisions. Heck, Bush even dissed his own father’s advice on Iraq and said he listens to a “higher father” when making these very important decisions.

Now, the Reverend Billy Graham says he believes God had a hand in Bush's re-election.

Has to be, right?

“Their next four years are hidden from us, but they are not hidden from you,” said the 86-year-old evangelist to the president. “You know the challenges and opportunities they will face. Give them a clear mind, a warm heart, calmness in the midst of turmoil, reassurance in times of discouragement and your presence always.”

I don’t know about you but this sure sounds to me like something God would have said to Moses (I DO know that in the film “The Ten Commandments” Charlton Heston played the part of Moses AND doubled as the voice of God. Maybe there is a hint buried in there somewhere).

So… it turns out that the real reason we have had to endure and will have to endure President Bush IS because God has endorsed his presidency and all of his actions.

This can no longer be denied.

I guess I'm just a tad shocked that God turned out to be so freaking mean-spirited. But, again, I suppose this feeling is just my bitterness at discovering that God and the bible are the exclusive property of those who support Bush. It's only natural I'd lash out this way after being disowned by God like this.

I thought God might have been more compassionate toward people. But, it turns out that God is a Republican.

I kind of pictured God as someone who cared about people needing medical supplies or care. I thought that, perhaps, God would have desired people to be free and supported the principles in something like our Constitution but it turns out that God is for the Patriot Act. I would never have thought that God would allow the doctrines of independent churches to be under the influence of the federal government. But, He actually supports this.

I’ve been operating under the assumption for years that God wanted His followers to be free of government influence over their lives but I was simply wrong about that.

Who would have thought that God would be against the 40-hour workweek or overtime?

Who knew that God wanted increased deficit spending? I’m sure I read it somewhere in the bible that God wanted people to pay their debts and remain solvent. But, I must be wrong about that too.

I’m sure I also read somewhere to be wary of false prophets and those proclaiming divine connections to God himself but, you see, I must have been mistaken about that as well.

Since I’m now convinced that God is on the side of the Republicans it is also now evident to me what it is God values most of all: Money. More specifically: Money for corporations. I would not have known this by simply reading the bible. I was wrong about God on that one too.

Lately, I’m even more surprised about God. Who would have thought that God would want His people to be at the mercy of corporations selling dangerous products and would be supportive of doctors committing malpractice and getting away with it?

What worries and confuses me most of all is, since I’m not a Republican, does this mean that I can’t go to Heaven either?

If I try to get through the Pearly Gates in the afterlife will they tell me that, because I care about people and civil rights and don’t support pre-emptive foreign military adventures, I can’t pass through?

I’ve read my bible over the years. I’ve read and re-read the New Testament. How could I have gotten things so wrong? I missed the passage where it says, “Thou art damned if thou doth not support self-righteous demigods with pretensions of conservatism.”

I can’t believe I would have missed a passage like that.

Who would have thought that me and God would be so opposed on the issues?

God… why hath thou forsaken me?

18 Comments:

At 6:16 PM, Blogger Samuel Marzioli said...

Hey, the theory still holds. God could be supporting Bush AND be good. After all, we did save Afghanistan and Iraq, and if we had our way we'd liberate everyone in the world. Liberals, on the other hand, complain about it "costing" too much to help other people share the liberties we enjoy and are anti-action when it comes to making the world a better place (i.e. war).

Look, I’m sure our opposition will find some magical form of diplomacy and sanctions which make immoral killers turn into cuddly bears, but you haven’t found it yet. Only force works for now. Check out my blog. I have a few entries from the other side of the coin, i.e. good things our troops have done for other people that would have never occurred if it wasn’t for conservatives.

 
At 6:19 PM, Blogger Captain Mainline said...

What about self-righteous bloggers?

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger sapere aude said...

I enjoyed this article. Suble sarcasm with a sharp wit. I'd just ask Pres. Bush if he knew exactly how many Americans' have died in Iraq and does he think the numbers will fall or increase. Perhaps God will give him the answer. Eloi, Eloi, lama sabathani, indeed.

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger Kerry R. Fox said...

Captain Mainline,

"What about self-righteous bloggers?"

Well... I would think that self-awareness on the condition would be the first step and you have taken this step. Congratulations!...:-)

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger SheaNC said...

Samuel Marzioli says, "After all, we did save Afghanistan and Iraq." I think the only connection that saving has to God is when the inhabitants of those countries scream, "For the love of God, please stop saving us!"

Anyway, here is a link to a blogger who really lays it out about God's support for George Bush: http://myblogginkorner.blogspot.com/2005/01/my-prayer-for-president-bush.html

Random surfing can be dangerous.

 
At 10:25 PM, Blogger spiderleaf said...

great post, just the right amount of snark and righteous indignation.

 
At 10:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally awesome post! Being an Australian living in the USA I have a theory that the God in America is totally different from the God that resides over the rest of the world?
Faith (http://rasputina.typepad.com)

 
At 3:08 AM, Blogger scientist said...

I believe that God allowed Bush to become President, but the bible does say that the road is narrow and few will find it. Just a little something to mind-munch on.

 
At 3:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Astute observation.

Che

 
At 8:27 AM, Blogger Bruce -- Harper Blue said...

I dinna ken about the "right amount of snark," etc., but one thing strikes me. When evengelists, even ones as respected as Billy Graham, start making pronunciamentos like you note here, I start getting worried...about the evangelist. Anyone here old enough to remember when Oral Roberts got witchy a decade or two back, and said if people didn't pledge some millions of dollars to his crusade and university, "the Lord's going to call me home."

I thought he might be an okay guy; but after that, I immediately washed my hands of Oral Roberts.

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Jade said...

Screw Oral Roberts and the crusade he drove in on. I am a Christian and I do not believe in no uncertain terms that Bush's re-election has anything to do with God or anything surrounding. It has to do with politics and money. The lobbiests have the money to pay the people that actually make the vote count. Do not believe that person is you. It is not. "Our God is not a vengeful God" is what the bible states. I do believe this. I don't care what Charlton Heston says in "The Ten Commandments" that too was a hollywood charade. A movie. "God helps those whom help themselves." We are a nation that accepts what the lobbiests pay for, and therefor Bush is re-elected. Have you ever heard of the "Fallen" Angels that live amongst us? The Angels that followed after Satan when he was exiled from the heavens and the purities? I belive that Bush is an example of those. Preaching a "false" God and living under this claim. His re-election is just as much of a farse and falshood as the first election was. Don't kid yourself into thinking that our actual "God" had anything to do with it. Satan preaches a lot of spiritual speak only to confuse those around. This is not our God speaking. The true voice of our God hit when the tsunami unfortunately wiped out generations with it's force. Don't you think that might just be a sign that "God" does not enforce the things that are being allowed to continue within our nations?

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger Jade said...

Screw Oral Roberts and the crusade he drove in on. I am a Christian and I do not believe in no uncertain terms that Bush's re-election has anything to do with God or anything surrounding. It has to do with politics and money. The lobbiests have the money to pay the people that actually make the vote count. Do not believe that person is you. It is not. "Our God is not a vengeful God" is what the bible states. I do believe this. I don't care what Charlton Heston says in "The Ten Commandments" that too was a hollywood charade. A movie. "God helps those whom help themselves." We are a nation that accepts what the lobbiests pay for, and therefor Bush is re-elected. Have you ever heard of the "Fallen" Angels that live amongst us? The Angels that followed after Satan when he was exiled from the heavens and the purities? I belive that Bush is an example of those. Preaching a "false" God and living under this claim. His re-election is just as much of a farse and falshood as the first election was. Don't kid yourself into thinking that our actual "God" had anything to do with it. Satan preaches a lot of spiritual speak only to confuse those around. This is not our God speaking. The true voice of our God hit when the tsunami unfortunately wiped out generations with it's force. Don't you think that might just be a sign that "God" does not enforce the things that are being allowed to continue within our nations?

 
At 7:53 AM, Blogger SheaNC said...

Hey, by the way, could someone please explain to me what the connection is between the evangelical christians who are now in power, yet in bed with Saudis (Moslem) and Israel (Jewish)? Money and power I can understand, but how do these oppositional faiths reconcile their coziness? I don't understand it.

 
At 6:22 PM, Blogger birdwoman said...

OK, this scares the crap out of me. This equates Americans to "God's Chosen". Pop quiz. Who were the last of God's Chosen? Hmmmm... that would be the Jews. Can you think of a single other group of people to be so singularly persecuted for thousands of years (from egypt to now)?

I say we impeach bush for trying to gain this title for us!

(*)>

 
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