Tuesday, October 19, 2004

‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’

After getting up fairly early – but not early enough – yesterday I thought I might be ahead of the day’s game. But, sometimes, you just have “one of those days” that makes you wonder why to bother with it all.

As soon as I was up, at 6am, and at the computer… thinking I had some time to myself… Michelle got the kids up via the downstairs phone and began an inquiry as to where her work clothes were.

This call got the children up and bickering before I was done with my first cup of coffee, as her work clothes were not ready despite warnings, alerts and threats the night before.

As I scrambled to have some information ready for Matthew’s teacher, who calls each Monday at 9am, I did so to the general chaos of “Clothes-Gate” being debated by everyone else around the house.

Michelle finally got her clothes and set off to work… Matthew’s teacher called and I survived.

I thought there might be a reprieve the rest of the day, since Mondays are usually slow.

But, I was wrong.

Things began to warm up literally and figuratively. The landlord had sent the handyman, Phil, by on Friday to shut off the swamper for the winter… prematurely, like usual. Naturally, we immediately entered a warming trend. So, it has been uncomfortable in the house.

After Michelle left for work, LA and Sheyanne began to bicker about their chores with which they have been running behind. I thought they might have been pleased there was not any schoolwork for the day. But it didn’t matter. They had more free time to fight.

The phone started ringing early… political ads and recordings pitching the candidates who could make my life better.

The doorbell started ringing; first Fed Ex, then Staples, then the mail lady. Then two guys showed up to announce they had arrived to change the porch carpet. The neighborhood dogs and our dog began a barking campaign that lasted several hours.

Matthew learned both of the workers’ names and then stood at the front door using both their names alternately the whole time they were working.

A general sense of chaos filled the little bit of air that entered the house.

To make matters worse we all HAD to be at LA’s Boy Scout meeting last night. It was my job – my mission, rather – to be sure LA had everything he needed to wear. I had an especially difficult time getting him to shower. LA made sure that there were several arguments about his assemblage.

We also had to bring a dish for the award ceremony’s potluck.

Trying to get the children showered, dressed and ready was something I began early… but also not early enough:

LA could not locate his scarf clip… like usual.

Sheyanne could not find the right shoes or the right dress.

Nobody could locate a pair of pants for Matthew.

By the time Michelle got home and the exasperated workers finished the porch I had had enough of this particular Monday.

Even though I was beat we all loaded up into the car and went to the Boy Scout meeting. The air in the building was shut off there as well and it was extremely uncomfortable.

Matthew was becoming ill from the lack of oxygen and I had to leave the building with him several times to get fresh air outside. Matthew also threw a fit when he realized that the chicken had run out and that he could only have one piece of cake.

After we made it through the ceremony and arrived back home I was concerned that we would get everyone to bed later than normal and that the day might never end.

Upon reentering the house (stuffy and hot due to the lack of breathable air) I saw Pearl sitting in my nice leather chair, in which she is not allowed. When she saw me she immediately pissed all over the chair.

Another hour of general chaos and the game I like to call “The Same Thing Happens Every Night,” and, finally, things did begin to calm down.

But, now, I was too upset and uncomfortable to get to sleep. I’m not the sort who can go to sleep immediately. Michelle, however, can go to sleep on a dime, which she did.

As I tried to relax and drift off, Michelle began one of her loudest and most obnoxious snoring sessions in recent memory.

I was up until about 2am… crying.


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